


Hooter Hook-Up

by scarlettcat



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Co-workers, F/M, Humor, Office, Post-Hogwarts, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-23
Updated: 2013-04-23
Packaged: 2017-12-09 06:55:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/771316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarlettcat/pseuds/scarlettcat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hermione Granger has a new cause – the environment. Using a popular Muggle networking site as inspiration, she creates a new Wizarding device to help the Ministry become more environmentally friendly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hooter Hook-Up

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dormiensa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dormiensa/gifts).



> This fic is supposed to be in a twitter-type format. However, my formatting skills are limited. Hope it's readable!

Granger_Hermione:  
In an effort to save trees and be a better friend to the environment, the Ministry is going parchmentless!  


Granger_Hermione:  
(Cont.) In lieu of interdepartmental memos, please try out my new messaging system Hooter! Show you give a hoot by sending a hoot. It's easy and fun! :) 

Malfoy_Draco:  
Hey. Just having fun playing with Granger's hooters. ;)

Zabini_Blaise:  
LOL Can I play with Granger's hooters too? :D

Granger_Hermione:  
@Malfoy @Zabini It's Hooter. Singular, not plural. Please respond so I know you received this message.

Malfoy_Draco:  
@Granger I received your hooter with pleasure.

Zabini_Blaise:  
@Granger I received your other hooter with pleasure.

Granger_Hermione:  
@Malfoy @Zabini It's a hoot. What I sent you is a hoot!

Malfoy_Draco:  
@Granger If it was a hoot, I didn't get it. You should work on your sense of humor.

Zabini_Blaise:  
@Granger LOL?

Granger_Hermione:  
@Malfoy @Zabini This isn't funny. 

Malfoy_Draco:  
@Granger So, we agree. You are not funny.

Zabini_Blaise:  
@Granger So, it wasn't a hoot? *confused* 

Granger_Hermione:  
@Malfoy @Zabini Stop playing around with my Hooters!

Malfoy_Draco:  
@Granger Can I still play with your singular hooter then?

Zabini_Blaise:  
@Granger I prefer to focus on one hooter at a time anyway.

Malfoy_Draco:  
@Zabini I call the right hooter. I've had my eye on it for a while now.

Zabini_Blaise:  
@Malfoy That's the one I wanted. I'll flip you for it.

Granger_Hermione:  
@Malfoy @Zabini Sorry. That was a typo. I meant, Hooter. Singular. And no. You may no longer play with it. I will test it myself.

Malfoy_Draco:  
@Granger That's hot.

Zabini_Blaise:  
@Granger That's hot.

Zabini_Blaise:  
@Malfoy Jinx! You owe me a butterbeer!

Granger_Hermione:  
@Malfoy @Zabini This is completely inappropriate behavior for work. If you two don't stop misusing my Hooter right this minute, I swear I will have you both

Malfoy_Draco:  
@Granger Both of us? At the same time? Kinky. However, I should let you know that Malfoys do not share.

Zabini_Blaise:  
@Granger @Malfoy *shrugs* I'd be up for it. 

Granger_Hermione:  
@Malfoy @Zabini That last hoot got cut off. Damn character limit. I meant to say, I will have you both severely reprimanded.

Malfoy_Draco:  
@Zabini Don't count on me showing up for work tomorrow. Seems I'll be tied up. ;)

Zabini_Blaise:  
@Malfoy Same here. Bet you my punishment is going to be more than a slap on the wrist. ;) @Granger I'll bring the flogger.

Granger_Hermione:  
@Malfoy @Zabini Stop hogging my Hooter with this nonsense. It's supposed to be for everyone to use.

Malfoy_Draco:  
@Granger Was that supposed to be a hoot? Because it wasn't funny. I told you I don't like to share.

Zabini_Blaise:  
@Granger I'd be up for it. @all Orgy!

Brown_Lavender:  
@Granger And everyone says I'm the office slut.

Potter_Harry:  
@Granger Next time you're trying to think of a name for one of your projects, ask for help. All this talk about your hooter is making me want to spew.

Weasley_Ronald:  
@Granger WTBH You wouldn't even let me touch your hooter when we went out.

Shackelbolt_Kingsley:  
@Granger I don't think your Hooter experiment is working out. Perhaps, it is just too big of an idea for the Ministry at this time.

Malfoy_Draco:  
@Granger I like your big hooter(s).

Zabini_Blaise:  
@Granger Me too! :)

Granger_Hermione:  
@Shackelbolt Agreed, sir. I will reinstate the interdepartmental memos by the end of the day. @Malfoy @Zabini Sod off.

Malfoy_Draco:  
@Granger Now, that's a hoot. I know you like me. ;) But I agree @Zabini should sod off.

Zabini_Blaise:  
@Malfoy Hey! :( 

Granger_Hermione:  
@Malfoy Who told you I liked you? That blabbermouth @Brown?

Malfoy_Draco:  
@Zabini :P But seriously, sod off.

Malfoy_Draco:  
@Granger Now that we've established you like me, would you and your hooter(s) care to join me for dinner tonight?

Granger_Hermione:  
@Malfoy This conversation is completely inappropriate for this forum. Please see me in my office immediately.

Zabini_Blaise:  
@Granger Should I come too?

Granger_Hermione:  
@Zabini No, thank you.

Malfoy_Draco:  
@Zabini *smirk*

**Author's Note:**

> This bit of silliness was inspired by the following prompt from dormiensa: The ministry tests out a magical twitter to replace the paper interoffice memos. Fic should read like a series of tweets.
> 
> Hope it gave you a hoot! :)


End file.
